Of Fleets and Fish
by Crimsonberzerker
Summary: A short one shot exploring Shepard's laziness and spending habits. Teen for a small bit of language.


Shepard sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for his guest. He wasn't feeling nervous or fidgety. Not anymore. He was simply contented, knowing who he had back in his life once more. A ding announced her arrival.

"Thanks for inviting me up," Tali'Zorah said as she walked through the doorway. "I couldn't speak freely in front of Raan." She sat down next to him with a sigh, her head knelt down slightly.

"Are you alright, Tali?" Shepard asked. "I don't suppose it would be presumptuous to say you're stressed over the invasion?"

"To say the least. I've got millions of lives riding on me. I feel like I'm just acting through this whole thing, trying to make people think the Admiral's daughter knows what she's doing. If I screw this up, the whole fleet could die."

"Hey now," Shepard responded. He put his arm over her shoulder. "You're the best Geth expert in the galaxy. You retrieved a memory core from a Geth before it could fry itself. You were there with me when we took down Saren and his army. You even worked with a Geth to take down the Collector station, even when you didn't want to. I think the _Admiral_ knows what she's doing."

"Thanks. It's just… with so much on the line, I can't help but question every decision I make."

"You don't question me, do you?"

"Keelah! Of course not!"

"So, you still want to be with me? Even after we take back Rannoch?"

"Somehow, I think you helping take Rannoch back will make me want to stay with you even more," she said mischievously. "But yes, I didn't come up to see the fish." She peered over at the fluorescent, blue tank. "Speaking of which. There's something different about that tank, but I just can't figure out what," she said, placing a finger on the side of her helmet.

"I can't imagine what. I'm pretty sure the alliance didn't do anything to the tank, of all things."

"I have it!" she exclaimed, turning around to face him. "The fish aren't all dead!" Shepard chuckled for a second at the memories of the numerous times he had to flush the tank of the poor critters. "I'm glad you're finally remembering to feed the poor things."

"Oh, well, about that. I just bought a VI to assist with that. It feeds the fish at intervals so I can't forget to do it myself. Damned convenient, if I don't say so."

"Wait. You bought a VI? To feed your fish?" Tali asked in an exasperated manner. "Is it that hard to press a button every so often so they don't die?"

"Well, c'mon, Tali. I'm busy, you know, saving the galaxy. It's more stressful than the collectors, and even back then I forgot it all the time. So I don't see it-"

"And furthermore," she interrupted him, her glowing eyes narrowing behind her mask. "Did you even think it through? You bought a _VI_ to feed your fish. Your whole ship is run by an unshackled AI! Why not just ask EDI to feed them? She can run a billion operating windows at once, I think she can manage the difficult task of feeding your fish."

"Uh-… Um." Shepard sat, pointedly staring at the wall, trying to figure out how to logic his way out of this corner. "Well, I mean… Edi has to operate her new, uh, mobile platform, on top of all the vital operations of the ship. We wouldn't want to overwork her processors and make her accidentally forget to recycle the oxygen, right?"

"You didn't even consider asking her, did you?" Tali asked bluntly.

"No." Shepard hung his head slightly.

"Oh, look, it's alright," Tali reassured him, embracing him over his shoulders. "But, out of curiosity, how much does a fish tank VI cost?" Shepard mumbled incoherently in the lowest possible tone he could manage. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," Tali egged on sweetly.

"Oh, not much, just… 25,000 credits."

"25,000 credits! Shepard, that's more than twice what most of our weapons cost!" He cringed slightly as she berated him. "Did you even think this through? Keelah, you're awful sometimes."

"Look, it seemed like a good idea at the time!" he shot back angrily. He was at least going to put up a fight if she was going to insult his monetary savvy. "I was browsing through the shops at the Citadel while I was waiting for a council meeting, and I thought it would save me money in the long run so I wouldn't have to keep buying fish all the time! So if you think that was stupid, then… then…"

"Keelah, I didn't mean to insult you, John." Tali cried out. She began wringing her hands. "Look, I just, it just seemed like there were better alternatives, right?"

Shepard sighed. He leaned sideways into her, and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Look, yeah, you're right. It was a pretty stupid purchase. But you know how those stores are on the citadel about returns. You could probably harass them for three years over a fifteen credit purchase and they still wouldn't give it back to you, never mind something this big. Plus, uninstalling it would be a bastard. And I've still got plenty of credits in the account. Money isn't a problem, Tali."

Tali leaned into him as well, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. "It's not a big deal. But, maybe, in the future, you could leave the credit chit with me?" she suggested in a playful manner.

With a defeated sigh, Shepard hung his head. "Alright…"


End file.
